Writing is supposed to be a stream of consciousness. It's supposed to flow and go with you. You're in control of the story, not the other way around... So what are you supposed to do when your head gets ahead of itself and plans out the entire story before you have the first chapter written?
The Grand Awakening has been inside my head for four years now. Not the entire thing; that only came to me around two years ago, but still, at that time, I barely had the first eight chapters written, so why was I getting so far ahead of myself?
Apparently, my brain works faster than my fingers can type. I feel like when I plan that far ahead like that, it causes a distraction because my brain starts jumping around from chapter to chapter deciding what's going to happen here, when it should be focusing on what I'm trying to write in that moment, not later on. I know many writers write out of order, but is that really the best way to write? I've semi-completed the first 19 chapters of my story that was outlined into 28 chapters, originally 30, I also have chapter 25 and 28 done. How? I have no idea... The numbers may change, but the gist of what happens shouldn't unless I decide to really change TGA. Bits and pieces of other chapters are finished as well, but from where I am now, I have no idea if those will change or not. I still have to fix the crap I wrote two, three, four years ago in the first few chapters.
And to top everything off, I have four other stories I've started over the past few years, NONE of which I've finished; even the small supernatural/paranormal novella I began after last Christmas, "Calliope", about a man in search of the soul of his deceased wife. The story I wrote for NanoWrimo this year, "Summer Storm", has around 46 pages that I wrote in the first ten days, and now it's just taking up space on my hard drive. "Find A Way", which I honestly can't even remember when I started, has ten chapters done, some of which are online on my fictionpress because I really don't care about getting that one published due to the content. [I'd have to change too much.] And THEN my totally mondo-fabulous awesome science fiction adventure about parallel universes and wormholes and authors and books and writing and truth and fiction... it's all too much for my brain to even compute right now.
I just want to be able to finish something that I start. I seem to have a problem with doing that, and not just in my writing, either. Just let me finish one of my stories, preferably the one I love the most. The one with the most meaning to me. The one I project myself into a little too much... I just want my life to have a little meaning...